The call
by anonymous mistress
Summary: It's the sixt year at Hogwarts. Harry and Draco are in a secret relatinship.Draco is afraid of what will happen when Harry goes out to war.   the storyline is based on the lyrics from "the call" by Regina Spektor.  Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

_It started out as a feeling_

_Which then grew into a hope_

_Which then turned into a quiet thought_

_Which then turned into a quiet word_

_And then that word grew louder and louder_

'_til it was a battle cry_

They had been together for a while know, although Harry wasn't ready to admit it in public. The boy was scared of what the rest of the world would think about him being gay, and not only that – he was dating a Malfoy. Well truth be told, Draco couldn't afford to be honest about the whole affair either. He was a deatheater know. It was his mission to kill Harry Potter and he had fallen in love with his prayer instead.

He had to thank his uncle Snape for the classes in occlumency, otherwise he would have been caught by Voldemort a long time ago.

But in a way he was sick of it. Sometimes he just wanted to scream so that the whole world could hear about how much he loved the golden boy.

And yet they both settled with secret meetings down the room of requirement at night. Harry even played a fake relationship with Ginny just to make sure that no one would suspect anything. He was so jealous of that girl; she got to kiss _his_ Harry whenever she wanted to and declare her love for him whenever she wanted to. But the worst part was to watch Harry kiss her back and caress her cheek, to watch him hold her when she was cold and to hear him declare his love for _her!_

Draco turned around in the bed at looked at his precious Harry. The dark haired boy had been asleep for a while. He seemed very troubled. _Well of course he was troubled, he was the one who was forced to find the Dark Lord and kill him or die trying. Who the hell wouldn't be troubled by that? _Draco sighed and placed his arm around Harry. How he wished he could comfort him.

Suddenly.

"Draco?"

"What? Another dream?"

Harry nodded and placed his nose against Draco's collarbone. Draco couldn't help that his heart skipped a beat when he felt the warm touch.

"It's okay you know?" His grip tightened around Harry. "It's okay to be scare…" his voice didn't support him.

Harry looked at him curiously. It was pitch dark in the room and yet those green eyes shone ridiculously bright.

"You seem quite worried yourself. Are you alright?" _Stupid observant Potter._

"Am fine. Really." Draco smiled, something quite unnecessary since the room was so dark. "Just let me arrange some with the lights, lumos." Draco waved his wand. "You know light is the best cure for bad dreams."

Harry smiled and sat up. _Oh boy stop smiling you're killing me. _

"You know what I heard about nightmares?"

"What?"

Harry smiled slightly wilder with a glint in his eye and whispered softly into Draco's ear. "I've hears that a kiss can cure you from a bad dream."

Draco felt shivers down the spine and felt a sudden urge to see if Harry's lips tasted as good as he remembered.

"So that's what you're thinking", he mumbled and leaned over Harry and teased him by keeping his lips as close to Harry's as possible but he refused to tuch them. _Sweet torture._

"You're such a tease Draco." Harry's hands were eagerly unbuttoning his shirt. "Of course that's what I'm thinking of."

"Well then…" Draco didn't have an unlimited patience anyway, he leaned over and kissed him.

xX**X**Xx

Time flew away with an incredible speed; it was barely a month left until summer vacation and Harry had told him that he wouldn't come back for the next term. He didn't like it, not at all. It's not like he would be back to Hogwarts either, but it bothered him that he wouldn't be able to keep track of his beloved. He wouldn't know if he got hurt or worse, if he got _killed._

Draco stared down at his homework – 'what to do when attacked by an elf'.

How pointless really.

They were all going to fight in a war and here he was reading about elves. What would it be like after the war? Well it all depended on who won; if Harry won then they could live happily ever after in some sort of a fairy tale, but if Harry died…

_Which he won't because I won't allow it._

If Harry died then the world would become a dark place and not only for him but it would literally be the end of the world as he new it.

He stood up and walked towards the exit of the common room.

"Where are you going Draco? You haven't even started writing on your assignment." Blaise sat in a corner of room playing with a deck of cards, obviously not paying that much attention to his assignment either.

"I need to take a walk, clear my head a little", Draco mumbled.

"Yes you most certainly do."

"Huh?" _Why does that boy have to be so cryptic about everything?_

"You have been worried lately and you're just too obvious about everything so you go and figure out what to do with Potter and I'll help you with your assignment when you come back."

"How the hell do you know about…?"

"I have my ways, and you don't have to look so worried, it's not like any one else knows." Blaise had a slyly grin over his face. "Now get your ass out of here and take that walk of yours. I'll explain everything later."

Draco was in shock, without further resistance he left Blaise and walked out to the hallway. _How the hell did Blaise know? Was he that bad of a liar? _It was late in the evening but he decided to take a walk down the lake, it wasn't likely that he would run into anyone over there.

He was wrong, since summer was approaching and the sun simply refused to go down all the students in Hogwarts had gathered down the lake to play games and have freaking picnics under the trees.

Draco turned around and started to walk back to the castle. He was in no mood to be close to the jolly freshmen playing Frisbee. Where were the rainy days when you needed them?

What was he going to do? How was he going to manage without Harry? Maybe he would be better of if he didn't talk to Harry at all. Almost like some sort of detoxification. That way it wouldn't be such a shock to his body and mind when they were separated. But he didn't want to be separated from Potter, he wanted run away with him and escape from this nightmare. But Potter would never accept such a proposal, he had to be such a hero and save the day, that bloody Gryffindor!

That's it then no more talking to Potter then… no more kissing Potter… no more doing _anything _with Potter. Well that wouldn't work. He had to talk to Harry; they both had to figure this out somehow. He would meet him down the room of requirements tonight.

xX**X**Xx

"Harry we need to talk."

Harry looked confused at him. "We need to talk or _we need to talk_?"

"Well… That's what I need to talk to you about." He took a deep breath. "You're going to leave me when you leave school in just a month and… and I wonder how we should do."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well… It's just that I don't know. You're leaving to hunt those horcruxes and we both know that I can't follow you. I'm going to be sick worrying about you and not knowing if you're dead or alive. And while you're hunting Voldemort I'll be on the other side attending to all the meetings about how to capture you and kill you! And… And I can't stand it!"

Harry locked at him with chock in his eyes. He wasn't prepared for Malfoy's reaction. Of course he had thought about how it would when the next year started but he didn't like to think in that way. So he had avoided the subject, hoping that it would somehow solve itself.

"I don't want you to leave me! Harry… I love you Harry."


	2. Chapter 2

_I'll come back_

_When you call me_

_No need to say goodbye_

_Just because everything is changing_

_Doesn't mean_

_It's never been this way before_

_All you can d__o is try to know _

_Who your friends are_

_As you head of to the war_

"_**I don want you to leave me! Harry… I love you Harry!" **_

"I love you to Draco", Harry whispered and gently pressed a kiss on Draco's forehead. "And I'm never going to leave you, you fool."

"Yes you are, there's only a couple of weeks left of this semester and then I might never see you again. And you might get _killed_!" Oh crap he was sobbing like a little child. A Malfoy never cried in front of anyone and here he was weeping and blurting out all of his fears. He felt so stupid, and on top of that Harry had just called him a fool, although he had had a very warm and loving voice when he said it.

"It's no surprise to the both of us that I have to leave, and you don't have to freaking overreact so much…" Harry didn't get a chance to complete his sentence.

"I'm not overreacting! You're no fucking immortal so stop acting like this couldn't get you killed and that it doesn't bother you. I know you have nightmares about it, so don't go all mature and superior on me." He shouted straight into Harry's ear.

"Draco please calm down!"

"I don't want to calm down! How could I do that you stupid smudged and ridiculously ignorant twat!" Draco didn't care anymore about the fact that he was crying, the only thing that mattered was to make Harry realise that he couldn't go through with this suicide mission. That included hexing Harry and kidnapping him if such means were necessary.

"Draco please…"

Draco looked up for the first time since his outburst only to realise that Harry was crying. _Fuck_. _I didn't want this to happen._ The silver like tears woke up an anxious and slightly obnoxious feeling. Truth be told it scared the hell out of him. He sighed deeply and raised his left arm to wipe the tears of Harry's cheek.

"I'm sorry Harry." When was he going to get it into _his_ stupid head that he was the stupid smudged and ridiculously ignorant twat? _Ever considered that maybe this was hurting him as well? Of course not, but just because the foolish boy who lived didn't want to blurt all his problems to the world didn't mean that they actually didn't exist. _Draco tried to shrugged his head. This is just too much, 6 billion people in the world and he fell for the boy-who-will-die-like-a-slaughtered-animal.

Harry smiled towards him. _He always smiles, as if to say: it's okay. No one smiles these days except him. We all shake in fear for the day that will come and hide it behind stone faces but this dumbass has to smile. Insane. _

"I promise I will come back."

"Don't you dare make such a promise", Draco's pity turned into range in a blank second. "Don't you dare make a promise you can't keep", he burst out in a reborn fury and rushed out of the room.

This had to end. Yes he loved Potter, no doubt of it. But this was too much for anyone to handle. And lets be logical here – occlumency or no occlumncy, this secret would just grow harder and harder to keep. It was too risky, and he didn't want to risk either his or Harry's precious neck.

They would both be better of this way. _Now why doesn't that thought sound so convincing?_

Draco refused to think about why.

xX**X**Xx

Harry felt sick. He had walked past Draco and the blonde didn't even blink at him, again. It was as if time had rewound a couple of years. Was he seriously being given the silent treatment after all these years? _After all the things they had done together? _Harry shook his head.

"You okay mate?" Ron asked with a wide grin across his face. At least one of them enjoyed the silence that was oozed out of Draco. He didn't even bother to insult his friends anymore.

"Yeah, it's nothing really, just a headache." Yeah it was one hell of a headache.

"You should go to Madame Pomfray, I'd be surprised if she didn't have an elixir for that." Hermione didn't find it necessary to lift her head from the book she was reading when she answered.

The familiar action made Harry smile. Even if Draco seemed to have lost his mind, some things were the way they should. But what was he supposed to do about Draco. The blond had a strong temper, how could he make him understand?

xX**X**Xx

Draco wanted to hit someone, really, it didn't matter who it was. It had taken Draco all his strength to ignore Harry in the hallway, the classroom, the great hall, and every other place where they had bumped into each other. And know he could see Harry smiling, as if nothing had happened. Well nothing had really happened for a week really, Draco avoided Harry as much has he could but clearly not avoiding him enough because the stupid raven seemed to be everywhere he turned his head.

Was it childish to treat Harry as an enemy? _Yes._

Well what else could he do?

"You and Potter broke up huh?" Draco turned around and came face to face with Blaise.

"How the he…"

Blaise placed his hand over Draco's mouth and dragged him out of the great hall and ignoring Draco's protests and the astonished looks from the surroundings.

"What the fuck was that good for?" Draco growled when Blaise finally let go of him inside a small closet.

"I just thought you wanted some privacy before you started shouting about your love life with Potter. But otherwise we could go back to the great hall if you please", he replied dryly.

Draco didn't know what to say.

It actually took him a while before he realised that Blaise knew about Harry, how was that even possible? They had always made sure that they were alone before talking, and they had taken every possible precaution when they sneaked into the room of requirements at night. Well at least he had thought so.

Blasie stood in front of him waiting for a question, punch or outburst – Draco could be a little unpredictable sometimes.

Draco's curiosity won the battle in the end. "How did you know?"

Blaise smiled before answering, he liked to make a show out of every story he told. "Well, I've always suspected some thing was going to happen between the two of you. Have you ever heard of the saying: Love always starts with a quarrel?" Draco hadn't. "And then I saw the two of you getting a little to eager outside the potions classroom. I guess it's okay to stand half naked in the hallway and make out if you think you're alone."

Draco blushed at the memory, which was at the beginning two yeas ago before all the troubles with the Dark Lord entered the picture. At that point they didn't really care about who found out. So maybe his parents would have started a riot over it but such trifles get shuffled into a corner when you are in love.

The love was slightly clumsy and fumbling. And they really couldn't keep their hands of each other and he had to admit it had been bloody wonderful! The way Harry looked when Draco touched him was inexpressible.

Things are different when you are a deatheater, well actually he hadn't been a deatheater the first time he tried to kill Harry. So it was his own decision to stop but know he was taking orders from someone else. And this someone wouldn't hesitate to kill him with a flick of his wand. Luckily his orders were only to supervise Potter at the moment, but luck doesn't last forever. So to break it up with Potter was the only logical thing to do._ Fuck logical._

Blaise noticed that Draco returned from his daydreaming and continued his statement. "And then I've just simply kept track on the two of you. Making sure that no one else found out and so on."

"You've been doing what now?" Draco felt slightly manipulated and as the Malfoy he was he didn't like it, although he was grateful to Blaise for what ever effort he had put into keeping their secret what it was – a secret. But still he felt deceived.

"Blaise just continued as if he hadn't been interrupted at all "…one time I hexed a two freshmen so that they were glued on to the floor for about an hour so that they wouldn't disrupt when you guys turned McGonagalls office into a love shack…"

"Blaise I got it, you can stop rambling now." This wasn't the memories he needed at the moment. They weren't exactly helping him to stay away from Harry. (Or Harry's lips, neck, chest, arms, arse, co… _oh no Draco, don't go there if you really want to stay away from Harry_.

"Blaise I don't need a rapport on what you've done for me all the time while I was shagging Harry, I give you the credit for our successful relationship anyway. But…"

"But the relationship is over now? Why?"

"It's not like it can last forever anyway, and you know why!"

"No. I don't"

"Oh bloody Merlin of course you know! I'm marked, we are enemies."

"You are in love."

"It doesn't change anything!"

"You fool, it changes everything", Blaise assured him with a soft smile. Stupid Blaise for being such a romantic, he didn't understand anything. Draco sighed and left the common room. He needed to be alone. The breakup was for the best, he was sure Harry understood.

xX**X**Xx

Harry looked at the Hogwarts express for the last time. He knew he wasn't going to come back to Hogwarts next year. He entered a compartment and sat down next to Ron and Hermione.

"It feels sad." Hermione looked out the window. Ron nodded. "I just can't believe that we won't be coming back here next year."

_I can't believe he did it!_

"I doubt it will be a good place to come back to next year though", Ron's voice was low. "Everything will change now when Dumbledore is gone, this place will be just as vulnerable as the rest of the world."

_Is this why he broke up with me? To do this? Is this the side he's chosen?_

"Harry are you okay?" Hermione looked worried. "You're not alone in this you know. We will help you." She smiled and so did Ron. 

"Yeah, I'm fine" _At least I know who to trust. _He had trusted Draco even after he became a deatheater but he still thought that he would fight against them. But to let them into Hogwarts, to aid them to kill Dumbledore, he couldn't believe it. He had been so close to rush up to him that night in the astronomy tower. To place a soft kiss in his lips and just shag the poor fella reckless, and then he…

Fuck.

Maybe their breakup was for the best. This was a war, and they just weren't on the same side.

But it hurt.


	3. Chapter 3

**Well if you didn't notice it in the last chapter I have a tendency to jump forward in time and skipping what could be important stuff. ****But if you've read the seventh book you should do just fine. Don't worry lovers, you'll do just fine. I have faith in you 3**

_Pick a star on the dark horizon_

_and follow the light_

_You'll come back when it's over_

_No need to say goodbye_

_You'll come back when it's over_

_No need to say goodbye_

Draco looked out on Hogwarts, it was so …different. The castle had never seemed so gloomy before. It hadn't been ruled by professor Snape before either. The students marched to their classes in two separate columns, lead by a class leader. The good thing about being a class leader is that you didn't get as beat up as the rest; the bad thing is that the difference was more or less insignificant.

Although the Slytherine house enjoyed certain privileges that the rest didn't have – they never got punished anymore, he just couldn't enjoy it with them. He couldn't stop thinking about Harry out there in the big scary world. His thoughts just wouldn't behave themselves.

If no one knew where Harry was then that meant that he was safe. That was good about being a deatheater – he would be one of the first to know if he was captured. No that wasn't a good thing, it was completely fucking worthless. He would give anything to be close to Harry right now. Not that it would matter, not after what he had done.

Draco picked up a piece of parchment and childishly folded into a crane. Harry had always been impressed by his skills in origami. He used to laugh when he had made them fly over their heads while the laid exhausted together in bed.

He wasn't laughing the last time he had seen him. It was at Dumbledore's funeral. Those green eyes had looked so disappointed at him. Harry might just as well put him through the crutiatuscurse; it probably wouldn't have hurt as much. This was simply too much. He never got a chance to explain. He never wanted to do it, never! But… oh fuck! What's the point`? Harry will never forgive him for not telling him about the plan; he will never forgive him for killing his mentor, never.

He would be better of if he could forget about Harry, but the world is funny sometimes. He couldn't do that either. His only hope was to get a chance to explain to Harry, that assuming that Harry would give him a chance to explain, and under the circumstances it was he was hoping too much but then. What else could he do?

He took up another piece of parchment and started writing all the words he might not ever get a chance to say.

xX**X**Xx

Draco hated being back at Malfoy Manor, and it was even worse now when it was infested with deatheaters constantly. He forgot the fact that he and his father were deatheaters themselves and that they lived in the house.

His father busted in on him with a mad grin across his face. "They've caught Potter! Can you believe it? When we deliver the boy to our Lord he will bless us for eternity…" Well come on boy, follow me!" Malfoy suddenly felt so heavy, there wasn't a chance that he would be able to move know. His entire body had turned numb. They had laid their filthy hand on _his_ Harry.

He forced himself to follow his father into the parlour where the rest of the company waited; a whole bunch of snatchers, his mother, Bellatrix and three other figures. He identified two of them as that Weasly kid and the know-it-all, but the third one; well if it was Harry Potter then he had surely gone through some changes lately.

His face was all blown up by some enchantment (if it was supposed to disfigure him into notoriety, then it had worked), he was dirty, and the clothes he wore were ripped and filthy as well. His father seemed to have noticed the difference between this Harry and the Harry that he knew. He didn't bother to listen to the conversation between his father and the snatchers.

"Well boy, what do you think?" the filthy werewolf placed Harry right under his nose. Draco understood that they wanted him to identify him. He looked deep into those green eyes and he knew – of course it was Potter! How many hadn't looked into those lovely green eyes before and drowned in them.

"Well?" His father observed him closely. "Is it him? Is it Harry Potter?"

"I… I'm not sure", he begged no one would se through his lie. Harry's eyes widened in shock. Draco was afraid to look at him but he couldn't look away.

"Then look closer, come over here. Doesn't this like his scar but stretched out?" His father was so exited, he knew that if they handed over Harry Potter he would be let back into the Lords inner circle. Everything would be forgiven.

He walked around Harry and was now close enough to kiss him; it took all his effort not to cry. Crying would've been really hard to explain.

He looked deep into Harry's eyes and slipped the letter into his pocket. "Read it", he mimed. "Promise." Harry nodded and Draco couldn't help it, he felt so thankful that he would get a chance to apologize.

"I don't know, I can't see anything" and he turned around to his father. The elder Malfoy hadn't noticed the exchange between Potter and his son. He was to anxious to think about anything but the eventual reward that waited before him.

"We better make sure that it's him", the words came from Bellatrix. "Our Lord doesn't forgive any mistakes."

That crazy women made him nervous.

"Well what about the muddblood?" The werewolf had return to the rest of his prays and now held a tight grip around Hermione.

"Wait", Narcissa said with a sharp voice. "I saw her picture in the Prophet! Look Draco, isn't that the girl Granger."

"I… maybe… sure." There was no way out of this.

"But in that case that's the Weaslyboy", Lucius cried out with joy and enthusiasm. "This is Potters friends… Look Draco! Isn't this the son of Arthur Weasly, oh what's his name?" he asked.

"Sure!" he replied even though he was turned away from the prisoners now. "I suppose he could be."

All of the sudden Bellatrix exploded about something the snatchers had taken and Draco turned all his focus to Harry. He apologized to him even though he couldn't say a word. Could Harry read the sorrow in his eyes while he and his friends were taken to the cellar?

He had to get them out of here.

xX**X**Xx

Harry couldn't believe that they had left the building. He also couldn't believe that Draco had saved him despite the fact that he had turned to the dark side. He felt the note in his pocket. He didn't want to admit it but he was afraid to read it. What on earth would he find?

"Hey Ron!" Ron looked up.

"I'm going for a walk. I won't be long."

Ron nodded. "Sure mate."

Harry took a walk and sat down next to Dobby's grave. It really was quiet and peaceful here. He picked up the parchment, unfolded it and started reading it:

_Dear Harry _

_Oh what a funny way to start a letter where I'm about to pour my heart out, I doubt that you find me dear any more. I'm sorry that I chose the wrong path.. But that's why I'm writing this, I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. I still do. Despite ignoring you and hurting your feelings. I was scared. _

_I was commanded to kill Dumbledore but I couldn't not when he stood there before me all helpless, and that's were Snape stepped int. But still I'm the one to blame since I'm the one who let them all in. Yes, I lied to you through the last year of our relationship. It stood between you and my family. And I know that my family isn't much to brag about but still… Damn it Harry you know I'm a deatheater – it was out of my control._

_And I'm sorry for not trusting you with my mission. I truly am. Ever since you've left I've been thinking of you. I would give anything to be were you are know, to be with you. And I know that you can't forgive me._

_I've let you down._

_Shit, my only point with this letter is that I want you to know that when this is all over I will find you and I still love you and hope you love me to. _

_I love you_

_Sincerely yours_

_Draco_

He still loved him. He apologized. He wanted to find him.

What if it was a trick?

_But he saved you at Malfoy Manor, what would be the meaning of tricking you now when he literally had you in his pocket?_

Still it warmed his heart to know that the blonde still loved him. It made him happy. And he was certain that they would find each other somehow after this whole mess_. _

Harry sighed and placed the letter into his pocket.


	4. Chapter 4

_Now we're back to the beginning_

_It's just a feeling and no one knows yet._

_But just because they can't feel it too_

_doesn't mean that you have to forget._

_Let your memories grow stronger and stronger_

'_Til they're before your eyes._

The war was over.

Draco looked out on the devastation around him. It matched perfectly with the ruins he carried within. His Lord had been defeated and nothing could have made him happier. That meant that Harry was alive. He was so nerveous. This would be their first meeting since before the war. What if Harry's feelings towards him had changed?

He walked back and forth along the shore of the lake. "What if", the most devious way to start a sentence, and those words had struck his mind so many times it had nearly driven him insane. _What if_ he hadn't assisted the deatheaters? _What if_ he hadn't actually become a deatheater? _What if_ he had followed Harry during his quest instead of fighting against him?_ What if_ Harry would never forgive him? _What if_ he could just have a bloody heart attack and get rid of all his anxiety?

_What if Harry didn't love him anymore?_

He was worried and he had the right to be. He had lost everything by now; his father was being sent to Azkaban, his mother had lost her mind and didn't even recognize him, Malfoy Manor had been destroyed. Was he going to lose Harry as well? Could he live with that?

The breeze was warm even though it was the middle of the night and he wondered how long he would have to wait in the astronomy tower. Harry had softly whispered the time and place in his ear before he ran of with Weasly and Granger.

His voice hadn't changed at all. Still soft like velvet, still strong and decided. But what had he decided? To leave Draco alone? To arrest him? Well there was one though he hadn't thought of before, was this a trap? No it couldn't be.

He heard steps, they were slow and heavy. All of a sudden the door opened. Before Draco could think he had thrown himself in Harry's arms, to hell with dignity and modesty. The smell of Harry's hair made his knees go weak and the heat from his body made Draco want to stay there forever. And Harry didn't push him away; he just wrapped his arms around him softly.

"I'm sorry!" Draco mumbled into Harry's shoulder.

"I know", Harry said blankly. "I read your letter."

The tone in his voice confirmed Draco's worst fears, there was neither love nor passion in his voice, and it sounded so dead. He had expected this but still, a small part of his mind had still hoped that there would be something left of what they had had during a time that seemed so long ago.

Draco lifted hi head and looked up in Harry's eyes. The green didn't have the same sparkle that he was used to. They were dull and just as cold as the voice.

"You won't forgive me?"

He already knew the answer before Harry shook his head. But he couldn't help the feeling of dropping fast and he didn't want anything but to run away and throw up. He had destroyed everything.

"I can't blame you", he croaked and turned to walk away.

"Draco!" Cold or not, that voice could still send shivers down his spine.

"What?" Don't break down in front of him, he told himself. There is a time for that later.

"I…" Nothing came and Draco couldn't wait anymore. He rushed over to the scared boy and kissed him. It was hasty, but he through in all the passion and love that he could afford. His tongue slid quickly over those sweet lips who stood as frozen they could have been mistaken for stone if they hadn't been so soft.

"I'll leave", he said and didn't give Harry a chance to respond. He turned around once again to walk away. For each step he hoped Harry would talk again, but nothing came. As soon as he was out of sight he transferred himself to Malfoy Manor.

Why had he kissed him?

Harry had made it clear that it didn't feel anything for him anymore, he had no excuse to behave that way towards him, no excuse at all to kiss those sweet, soft, velvet lips.

Draco closed his eyes.

xX**X**Xx

Harry laid in his bed and he was crying. Everything was over now, no more hunting after Voldemort, no more being afraid, no more Draco Malfoy. He wasn't sure the last one was a good thing anymore. That kissed had brought back so many memories, all the little things he thought he had forgotten about the blonde boy.

Then he had just rushed off and left Harry more confused than ever.

He didn't want to go back to him, did he? He didn't still love him after everything that he had done? Such as being responsible for Dumbledore's death. _Such as saving your life at the manor. _Dumbledore had always believed in giving people a second chance.

His mind felt so heavy against the pillow, Draco was inside his head. Draco's hand, lips, eyes arms wrapped tight around him.

He felt how he dowsed off to sleep and weather he wanted it or not Draco followed him in his dreams lingering around him as a snake.


	5. Chapter 5

_You'll come back_

_When __they call you_

_No need to say goodbye._

_You'll come back_

_When They call you_

_Harry tilts __his head backwards, eyes closed and gasping aloud. A tiny pearl of sweat shines on his slightly parted lips. His hands are tightly clenched and he trembles as some energy unknown to man radiates from him. _

"_Draco", he gasps and his body tenses from the euphoric thrill that washes over him_

…

_Harry is flying far ahead from him. He is accelerating more and more, and all of a sudden he disappears from his sight. He leans in to move faster, trying to locate the raven-haired boy, when a pair of soft lips brushes his ears and whispers:_

"_Did you really think I would leave you behind?"_

…

_He nestles his fingers in the other boy's hair and tugs him closer._

…

_Furious emerald eyes directed towards him. "You really are some piece of work Malfoy", he hissed._

"_Always have been" Draco teased with a soft tone. "I've also always been utterly gorgeous as well." he smirked with a glimpse in his eye._

_A smile emerged on the tip of Harry's lips. "Yes that is most sincerely true", he said and took a step closer and before Draco had had a chance to blink he found his lips crashing against Harry's._

…

_A warm hand firmly placed over his._

…

"_I don want you to leave me! Harry… I love you Harry!"_

"_I love you to Draco", Harry whispers and gently presses a kiss on Draco's forehead. "And I'm never going to leave you, you__fool."_

"Draco!"

The blonde boy jerked away from his memories and gazed upon Blaise with glazed eyes. Draco had a surprised expression on his face as if he still couldn't take in the fact that he still existed in the real world, especially since he hadn't been spending that much time in it. Blaise had made sure to notify him of that, it must be admitted that he had a point. Draco had spent the weeks after Voldemort death looked up in his room and mind, thinking of none the less but his beloved Harry.

"You really need to snap out of this", Blaise scowled at his best friend.

He was worried, he wanted Draco to move on with his life and stop sinking deeper into this self-pitying depression that was lurking in behind the corners of Draco's mind. Blaise's word made Draco sigh. How the hell was he supposed to get over Harry? Especially now when what was left of the wizard society had more or less been plastered with posters of the Golden boy. Draco could see that Harry's smile was a bit awkward and uncomfortable. He knew Harry had never enjoyed the fame and now that the war was over his fame had escalated to the stars.

Draco could see right through the picture and he knew by the suppressed squirms Harry made that all of this was nothing of what he wanted. Unlike the girls who had stood next to Draco admiring the poster by squealing over gorgeous and handsome he was, _but it was such a pity that he was dating Ginny again._

That phrase had made Draco choke on his own breath. It was a clear sign, shoved right into his face that whatever he and Harry had had was most definitely over. Harry had moved on and it was about time he did so to.

But it was so hard, there wasn't a Harry-free-zone in the entire Wizard world; he was on the frontages to the Daily Prophet – they were blasting about every single move he made – Draco admired the pictures in the newspapers and he felt a warm puddle of pride over what the bloke had accomplished even though his own heart broke every time the photography shot a shy smile towards him.

No, he had no interest in snapping out of it. The gloomy part of his mind was a safe-zone, even the painful memories of his love brought their own form of comfort.

"Draco you need to get out to the real world. Seriously, I don't want to drag your sorry arse out of this mansion myself but you are giving me no choice!"

Draco looked up, sincerely surprised to discover the fact that Blaise was still around. It took him a while to realize that Blaise also had a firm grip around his wrist and was dragging him through the front door – out to the real world. He buried his heels into the ground and leaned back, and by doing so shifting his weight, making it harder for Blaise to drag him as he realised were they were heading. All of the sudden he hit the ground, falling flat on his back.

"What the fuck did you drop me for!" he growled.

Blaise looked down at him with a strange grin on his face. "I didn't drop you; you were the one leaning back."

"You were the one holding on to my wrist, you dropped me!"

"Are you saying you didn't want me to let go?"

"Well, fuck yes! What part don't you get?"

"You're saying, you wanted me to drag you out of this mansion?"

Draco didn't answer out of pure shock. The expression on Blaise's face was completely unknown to him; he had a gleeful, mischievous grin spread across his face. Within a blink of an eye he had reached out for Draco's collar, dragged him up on his feet and slapped him. This action left Draco blinking out in the air for another minute._ Did Blaise just slapt me?_

"For the sake of Merlin, would you please just snap out of this? Go out! Do something! I know you're sulking but for Gods' sake it's driving me insane!"

He wrapped his arms around Draco and pulled him into a tight hug, Draco came enough to his senses to lift his arms and wrap them around the other boy's waist.

"For fuck's sake Draco, it kills me to see you like this", Blaise murmured.

A hint of a smile played on Draco's lips as he heard Blaise's words. His sulking had been unfair to Blaise; even though he hadn't thrown any tantrums – something that would've been expected of him – instead he had socially and mentally withdrawn himself from everything and everyone. Including Blaise, the one he told practically everything to, of course he got worried. Maybe he was even right, Draco looked up and felt a little bit more alive than he had done for a long time.

He took a step back and started waking his way up the stairs. "I'm going to my room to change", he could feel the familiar sneer curve his lip. "A Malfoy doesn't disgrace himself by dressing like this in public."

Blaise didn't say a word.

"Oh, Blaise?"

"Yeah", he said and jerked at the sound of his name. "What?"

"If you ever slap me again I will hex your balls all the way to Siberia."

Blaise frowned as the blonde turned away and disappeared out of his sight. There was no doubt. Draco Malfoy was back.

xX**X**Xx

Harry sighed as the reporter nervously fumbled with his final question. He drew a breath relief when the photographer arrived. And he sighed once more when he realized that the photographer was even worse than the reporter. The camera was shaking so badly in his hands that Harry would be surprised if he actually turned out with a useful picture.

It had been more than two months since he defeated Voldemort and everyone seemed to meet him with a mixture of fear and respect, which included some people who had been good friends with him before the war such as Seamus, Dean, and even Neville. It was getting more and more annoying as the days went by. But at least all the action had given him something else to think about instead of…

"Mr Potter, if I may add one final question?" the little man had a squeaky voice and Harry simply nodded in return. "Well I would like to know who you are going to bring to the ministers bale?"

He tried to act as if the question didn't affect him at all; he wasn't so sure on weather he succeeded or not. He put on a smile and planted a casual tone. "Oh I would love to tell the girl in question first", he squeezed out a chuckle and the nervous reporter tuned in.

Harry hadn't really thought about who he wanted to take to the ball. He could only think of one person he would want next to his side. But he had already burnt that bridge.

The reporter gave him a courteous nod and walked outside the door before he disappeared.

His departure allowed Harry to relax, he pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose and inhaled a couple of deep breaths. He appreciated to have the time to relax in what had once been Sirius favourite armchair, but he also dreaded how much this quiet piece of mind would give him time to think about Draco.

He knew in the back of his head that what they've had was something that could never be. The golden boy and a former deatheater was a combo that was never meant to be. To break it off with Draco was the right thing to do, even if it felt nothing but wrong. His pondering was interrupted as the clock struck five. He had one hour to pick up Ginny and escort her to their date in London. He never had any time to think, good thing he didn't – it hurt way too much to think.

xX**X**Xx

"Harry I don't think this will work."

"What?" He looked up, surprise painted all over his face. The freckled girl had had a crush on him since she was eleven years old and now she was telling him that it might not work.

"You've changed; I cannot explain it better than that. But it's like I can't reach out to you any more. For God's sake Harry, you've been starring down your plate for an hour without speaking!"

"Oh", he whispered. Ginny's grey eyes had made him think of Draco's. Her eyes seemed so pale compared to his; his were always burning with something. Either it was fury or hatred or love and passion. Ginny's were so dull in comparison. He hadn't even noticed how the time flew by. Was she right? Well of course she was. His obsession with Draco had only grown stronger since he had left him. "I'm sorry", he mumbled.

She sighed. "Don't be. "You've always been far away from me, but I always thought it was because of Voldemort and the war and I believed it would all change as soon as it was all over. Instead you seem to have drifted even further away. It makes me wonder if you ever thought of me in this way at all?"

"I…" I love Draco, he wanted to say but the words never came. He couldn't breathe as the realisation hit him: he still loved Draco. Despite the betrayal, the war, his prejudices and the expectations the world had laid out in front of him. Yes, he still loved the bloody git. The thought made him gasp aloud.

"I think we should end this", her voice sounded muffled in Harry's ears, he only nodded in response not quite capable of doing anything else.

She stood up and walked away leaving Harry numb by the dinner table. What should he do now?

xX**X**Xx

_Dear Mr. Malfoy_

_You've been invited to attend at the celebration of the new Wizard World…_

"You should go." Blaise stated with a casual voice and flipped a page on his papper.

"Hell no!" Draco snapped.

"Why not?" Blaise still went with the casual tone, he didn't even bother to look up from the Daily Prophet.

"Because _he_ will be there." Draco was starting to get tired of how of Blaise insisted on pairing him back together with Harry. Couldn't he just be pleased with managing to get Draco out in the real world?

"All the more reason to go." Apparently not.

Blaise sounded way too cheerful for Draco's taste. "Blaise…"

A grin played on Blaise's lips. "All I'm saying is that you can't win him back if you don't go after him."

Draco chocked. "He made it pretty damn clear that he wants nothing to do with me."

"You're a Slytherin my friend", Blaise wrapped an arm around Draco's shoulders. "Be a sly little fuck and win him back."

Oh this was way too cheerful for Draco. He didn't want to manipulate Harry; he wanted him to love him by his own will. He was scared of what he might see in Harry's eyes if they ever met. He knew it would never be the same.

"You should go."

"I should, shouldn't I?"

Blaise nodded.

xX**X**Xx

Oh well this was just stupid, why had he come here in the first place? He should have known that the invitation was nothing but an empty gesture. The ministry had sent him the invitation because he still wore the Malfoy name and hadn't been convicted for his former actions, but he was obviously not desired at this bale and it was perfectly stated by malicious glares and frosty greetings. It was a silent scream of how they would all have been much better of if he had declined the invitation. _Hell I would have been better of if I had declined the invitation,_ he sighed. But it was too late for regrets now, so he held his head high as he walked into what appeared to be a great bale room (magic can do wonders). He heard the sound of soft violins playing, accompanied by delighted chatting voices.

He wasn't supposed to be here at all. Even though he was slightly bothered by the cold welcoming and dry greetings, the only thing that truly bothered him was the absence of a certain green eyed gentleman.

_Where the fuck is he?_

xX**X**Xx

Harry tried to control his breathing. Why had_ he_ come? Wasn't this over? _I didn't know you were so eager to end it._ Harry ignored the silly little voice in his head; the incompetence over deciding what to do with his feelings towards Draco Malfoy was killing him. He shouldn't be feeling the way he did, like the light of his own life had just walked in through those doors.

The blonde man looked as handsome as ever. It took a great inner strength not to cross the bale room and pin the git up against the wall and…

"Hey! What are you doing behind this plant?"

"Err..." he scrambled his brain for some sense making words but Hermione only rolled her eyes instead of waiting for an answer and dragged him out on the dance floor.

"Where did this dance floor come from?" He could swear that people had been mingling a second ago.

"Oh for Merlin's sake Harry, have you ever heard of magic?" She rolled her eyes at him.

He smiled sheepishly at her remark.

A pair of grey eyes met his. The weak smirk underneath sent an electric shock down his arousal. _Why was he smiling? Oh god, don't ever let him stop smiling._ He shivered as Draco walked towards him. They eyes were locked towards each other when a wave of Draco's hand indicated that Harry should follow him out on the terrace. He tried to calm down his heart that apparently needed no more encouragement to race to the tops. He mumbled his excuses towards Hermione and moved, not sure on what Draco wanted, fuck he wasn't even sure on what he wanted. _Hmm… hoe about snogging him senseless? _Oh well that was a good idea indeed.

The night breeze was cold and refreshing; the crowded bale room was starting to get heated and uncomfortable already.

"Hi." Soft like velvet silk… and shy?

Harry turned his head and the dizziness emerged as he looked into Draco's eyes. Oh this was not good. He would have to get out of here as soon as possible or he would soon attack Draco and do some_ very unspeakable actions_ towards the other man. He swallowed a lump in his throat before he answered.

"Hello."

xX**X**Xx

The moonlight was a very seductive light Draco decided as he saw how the silver white light swam in a pool of emerald green. He tried to smile confident despite the butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't believe he was so close to Harry once again. And there was no disgust in Harry's eyes has he had expected. He seemed a bit confused and marvelled at being so close to Draco. _Could it be…?_ No of course he wasn't interested in giving Draco a go, but still, Draco couldn't help that he hoped for it more than anything in the world.

He felt a wave of electricity pulse between them. He was expecting sparkles when Harry raised his arm and wrapped it around him. The touch made him quiver and he couldn't do anything but to lean into Harry's embrace. The puzzle was complete; he didn't know he had missed him this much. As if a part of himself had finally reconnected with his heart. He sighed happily and when he leaned in to kiss those lips. It was even better than his memories.

"Harry I…"

I'm so sorry Dra…"

They didn't even bother to finish the sentences, there was nothing left to say that their actions hadn't made clear yet Draco felt that he needed to here some words aloud. And he thought Harry should here some things as well. He broke off the kiss and placed a firm palm on Harry's chest pushing him away.

"This is too quick", he gasped. And it truly was. This was what he desired for so long, but not if he was going to be a silly toy and then be quickly tossed aside. "I need to know what you want from me."

Harry trembled as he answered. The blush on his cheek grew stronger as he answered. "I want you. All of you! I was an idiot to let you go and will never commit a mistake like that again. Damn it Draco, I've missed you so much that I've barely been functioning out in the real world. I need you Draco. Please forgive me." His voice was hoarse and his words tripping over eachother, and eyes glowing like a Bengal fire. This was what he wanted to hear and he crashed his lips against Harry's.

"I love you."

"I love you to."

_No need to say goodbye_

_**- The end - **_

* * *

><p><strong>A.N: <strong>I wan't to thank those of you who have read this and commented. Really your comments have made my days. And I'm so sorry for taking forever with uploading this chapter. I have done my best not to give this a too cheesy ending. I'm afraid I failed miserably. Oh well... what is done is done. ~shy smile~

Thank you for putting up with me.


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